Life With All Its' Challenges Goes On

Being "first time" pregnant is not easy for anyone, I'm sure. But being in the military made it even more challenging. There wasn't the comfort of a familiar family doctor or ob-gyn. There was just the impersonal and emotionally uninvolved doctor who had probably used the military as a way of financing his medical school and was now just "serving his time". And the medical facilities at the base weren't the greatest, either. I had a lot of questions that I was afraid to ask these young doctors who were never the same from visit to visit. My education on pregnancy and childbirth was pretty limited because that was something even mothers didn't talk much about to their daughters...at least not mine. The only thing I ever remember my mother telling (actually, just showing) me when I was in my early teens, was an article that Life Magazine that showed an actual birth. But the mother was so draped and covered with sheets that it was impossible to even tell where the baby was coming from. Mom didn't explain anything, but just asked if I had any questions. I answered, "no". I would have been too embarrassed to ask the questions that may have been on my mind. End of conversation! Schools didn't do much in the way of sex education or childbirth either, so you could say that I was pretty naive. I understood the basics, but not too many details. As an after thought, I don't think I did a very good job with my girls, either. It takes a generation or two of cultural and custom changes to improve communication of subjects once considered "Taboo". I do remember hearing my father say at one time, "All those things just come naturally. You don't have to worry about them." But I hated those first prenatal trips to the doctors at Hill Field.

Although we made frequently weekend trips to Salt Lake to see family, I never "dumped" on Mom with my personal discomforts or concerns, especially because her health was declining rapidly. I knew she would worry about me and it was all she could handle just to deal with her own challenges. Besides her own health there was concern for my fourteen year old brother, J.D. and my unmarried sister, Georgia, who was struggling with some major decisions in her life. In July, Mom and Dad decided to move to California hoping that the lower altitude with help Mom to breathe easier as she now had to be continually on oxygen. Dad was able to find a printing job in Inglewood, and a duplex was purchased there for them. Claire and her family moved into one side of the duplex to be close enough to help Mom. That was a real sacrifice she made, and I 'm sure Dad was very appreciative. Georgia moved in with Grandma Knapp because she didn't want to move to California, and in October she and a close friend decided to move to Hawaii for a "new adventure". They were hoping to find new jobs and new friends.

I felt really alone and abandoned at this time with all my immediate family moving away. My Grandma Knapp became my surrogate mom, and I found it easier to talk to her than it had been to talk to my mother. I think this may have been because Dad so protected Mom, even from us children for her health's sake. I'm sure that wouldn't have been mother's desire, and I'm sure she wasn't aware how many times Dad told us to "Stay away from Mom", or " Don't bother Mom. She needs her rest. " We did spend time with Jesse and Jean, and that also helped. It was during this time that I learned how to cook Mexican food even though very often on the way home Jim would have to stop the car so I could throw up. Mexican food and pregnancy just didn't mix well for me.

Uncle Ken (my Mom's brother) and Aunt Ina lived in Ogden at the time we were there. Uncle Ken was the administrator of the Dee Memorial Hospital there. They were very good to us, having us to dinner very often. It was Aunt Ina who taught me how to make orange rolls which has become a family favorite and Thanksgiving tradition. Uncle Ken tried to convince us to have out baby at his hospital instead of on base. I really would have like that, but it would have cost us $100 for a three day stay (customary time for childbirth) and that was a lot of money for us. It would cost us nothing at the base hospital. But we kept the idea in the back of our minds.

The next few months seemed to drag on. I was passed the morning sickness, but I wasn't working because I was battling the skin allergies that were worsening. I was back on cortisone cream and bathing in water with powdered oatmeal to help sooth the burning and itching. Treating these kinds of allergies was still kind of experimental. But it was fun looking at baby "things" in the stores, planning for what we would need, and saving money to buy these basic needs. I talked to Mom every week on the phone, and although he never complained, I could tell she wasn't doing so well. I was now five months pregnant, and I could tell she was sad that she would not be able to come and see the new baby when it was born. She loved her grandchildren (Claire now had three children), and I was glad that they were living close by. But I, too, felt sad that she would not be close by when my first child was born. Babies need Grandmas.

It was October 10, 1954, when I received that dreaded phone call from California.