Trial or Blessing ?

I was so excited when I received a call from the Philippines. I knew it was Jim, and I knew he must have something very important to tell me because it was expensive to make those long-distance calls. First of all he told me that he had received the papers for his next assignment. We would be going to Wurtsmith Air Force Base in Oscoda, Michigan for his last year of duty. In spite of his telling me how cold it would be in the winter, I was excited. It sounded like a fun adventure to me because the farthest away from home I had ever been was to Cheyenne, Wyoming. Oscoda was right on the shore of Lake Huron, so I knew it had to be a beautiful place.

Then Jim dropped the bombshell...at least it seemed that way to me. He had found out that it might be possible for him to fly home on a military plane if one heading for the states was scheduled to stop there at Clark AFB at the right time and if there was space available. This sounded really good to him after having experienced the long three week trip on a navy boat going to the Philippines. So many had gotten seasick on that trip that he had slept out on the deck many nights to avoid getting sick himself from the smell. It wasn't a fun trip and he wasn't too thrilled at the thought of going through that again. And I didn't blame him. BUT he felt that since it was uncertain as to if and when a plane would be available we should postpone the wedding for at least a week to allow some extra time. I tried hard not to cry until after I hung up. The date of our wedding was changed to the thirteenth of May. Fortunately the invitations had not been printed. My dad was doing that at no cost since he was a printer and his father owned the printing shop. But all the other plans and arrangements had to be changed.

The first call I made was to Elder LeGrande Richards who was scheduled to marry us. And wouldn't you know he had an assignment that weekend and would not be available. GREAT! He said he would try to find a substitute and he did...Apostle Harold B. Lee. How could I be disapointed about that???? Calls to the bakery, florist, photographer, and to make the necessary changes yielded no problems. I was relieved. I actually began to think that maybe this was a good thing because if a plane became available soon Jim could get home a whole month before the wedding instead of just two weeks.

The ship left Manila the first week of April without Jim aboard. His only way home was now by plane and the "if" and "when" was uncertain. We crossed out fingers and waited.

Wedding Plans

Days didn't seem to drag anymore as the excitement of Jim coming home and the "busyness" of planning a wedding took over. I had to order flowers, look at wedding cakes, find a photographer, decide on what what to serve....etc. etc. But my biggest dilemma was still what to do about a wedding dress. My prayers where answered when one of my mom's best friends, Thelma Strong, volunteered to let me borrow a dress from her newly married daughter-in-law. I'm not too sure how the daughter-in-law felt about it, but I hope that her new mother-in-law checked with her beforehand. And I hope that somehow she knew how grateful I was. The dress was beautiful - more gorgeous than anything I would have been able to afford. It consisted of a floor length lace redingote (a long outer coat-like covering) over a plain dress with a skirt of yards and yards of tulle. I felt like a real princess in that dress.

With the dress problem resolved, I could now go on with remaining details of the wedding. I picked out the wedding cake - a two layer one because the musical revolving top I had purchased while working at the bakery was pretty large. Sheet cakes, punch, mints, and nuts completed the planned refreshments. These were the common choices at most weddings of that day. Only the very rich served dinner or had the buffets as we see today. Flowers were ordered, simple carnations for the bridesmaids and a large purple Cattleya orchid surrounded by Lillies of the Valley for me. This was a splurge because those orchids were a quite costly. But I had always dreamed of having one in a corsage someday because they were not only very beautiful (and fragile) but also a real "status symbol". This was my chance. The orchid in the bouquet was removable so it could be used as a "going away" corsage.

Because funds were getting a little low, I settled on a rented arch and candelabra as a backdrop for the bridal party and forwent decorations for the hall...just a few flowers on the tables. But there was still a photographer to hire, and I was basically out of money. But I really wanted pictures. Doesn't every bride want memories of her special day? I knew I would have to make a sacrifice if it were to happen, and I did. I sold my cello. Everything was now in place so I would have the two weeks from the time when Jim was due home until our wedding day to get "re-acquainted" again. After all, he had been gone for two years. I have to admit that I had some concern as to whether he or I had changed during that time, or if our feelings were not as we had remembered before he left. Maybe he would decide that this whole marriage thing was not the right decision once he saw me again. I guess it could have been those "pre-marriage jitters" that we hear so much about. I found myself looking more and more at the picture I had of him in his Air Force uniform. He was so handsome! Was that my attraction to him? I wanted to be sure and I wanted Jim to be sure. So I once again turned to prayer for that confirmation, and it came. I learned later that I need not have been concerned about Jim because he had made our relationship a matter of prayer before he wrote that proposition letter and sent a ring. He told me how he had received personal revelation that I was the right one.

Everything was going so well and all on schedule. Then the bottom fell out of all the plans I had so carefully made when I received a long distance call from Jim.

The Excitement Begins

January, 1954, was a special month! Jim was given his "return to the states" date which was the first of April. We could now set a wedding date, and we did - May 7. I could now begin planning in earnest. The first thing I did was to contact LeGrande Richards, an apostle, and also a good friend of my father. Although it had been many years since he had been my dad's bishop and mission president, they had remained in contact over those years. We asked if he would be available to marry us on that date, and he said he "would be delighted". One thing taken care of. Next, I picked out colors and patterns for bridesmaids dresses. I loved the color lavender so decided to have my bridesmaids in shades of that color beginning with purple and getting lighter and lighter down the line. (It was years later that I found out that Jim hated those colors). I chose four bridesmaids...my two sisters and two close friends, Heather Thurman, and JoAnne Starr. My niece, Maurine was to be my flower girl.

Since a date had been set for our wedding, the bishop gave me a recommend to go to temple for the first time. This would give me the opportunity to return several times before our temple marriage. Jim had already been endowed before he left to go overseas. I was so glad that my mom felt well enough to go with me that day. I think she would have gone even if she had had to crawl there. That was how important it was to her. I do remember that she was in bed all the next day because she was so worn out which really made me appreciate her great effort and sacrifice even more. Although I didn't understand it all, I felt a spirit there that I had never felt before. I still feel that same spirit every time I return to the temple, and each time I go I understand more and more. I don't feel too bad about not understanding it all as yet because even the prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, says that he learns something new every time he goes. My temple experience was the highlight of the exciting and busy month of January.

The next few months were very busy ones. Besides working and going to school I began working on a trousseau for myself. I really didn't have too many nice clothes. Clothes had never been a big priority in my life. But now I wanted something nice to wear to the temple on my wedding day...something store bought. I had always made most of my clothes. I went to an upscale store, Auerbachs, in Salt Lake for the first time. I was almost afraid to go in, and when I did I felt a little (no, a lot) out of place. I was alone, and I didn't even know where to go look. But somehow I walked out with a beautiful navy blue faille suit with a a white collar studded with pearls and rhinestones. I loved that suit although I felt guilty about paying so much. I finished the outfit with a navy blue hat (hats were really "in" at the time), navy blue shoes with white stitching, and white gloves. This was what I would wear to the temple on my wedding day. I also bought a grey wool suit with a black velvet collar when the Utah Woolen Mills were selling off their winter stock. I got a great deal on that suit, and it also became one of my favorites. I wore if for quite a few years. The rest of my trousseau was home made and consisted of a skirt, blouse, a dress, and, of course, a nightgown (long and with sleeves) and a sheer negligee to go over it. No one (at least in my circle of friends) would even think of buying or giving as a gift the things I see at bridal showers today. It took me a while to appreciate how lingerie can spice up a marriage.

My biggest dilemma right now was what to do about a wedding dress. I knew I couldn't afford to buy one, and I didn't feel competent enough to try and make one. And besides, when would I have the time? I only had a few months left before my wedding day and I still didn't have a clue what I would do. I had purchased and delivered satin fabric and patterns to my bridesmaids, but I had nothing for myself. I tried to put it out of my mind while I tried to work on the rest of my preparations...reserving the building for the reception, flowers, pictures, decorations, etc. And I prayed a lot.

Days Drag On - Protected Again

The summer turned into fall and then into winter. The days and months still seemed to drag, and it was only the letters and frequent gifts from Jim made my days exciting and happy. Some of those gifts were beautiful linens, a feathery scarf made of banana leaf fibers, an embroidered evening purse fashioned of fine linen, and fringed Japanese tapestry (table cloth?) that we used once for a Wiseman in our children's Christmas pageant. But my most favorite gift was a silver pin which consisted of two hearts, one with an embedded pearl, bound together by an arrow. I still have those gifts, most of them too beautiful to use. I did wear the pin every day after receiving it and on special occasions after he returned home. I gave that pin to one of my girls (I can't remember for sure which one). I do remember it was for a special Young Women's activity at which mothers had secretly been asked to bring a gift for our daughter that had special meaning to us. That pin was certainly meaningful to me, and I hope it has been for her.

Two of my favorite people and my soon-to-be in laws, Jesse and Jean invited me to dinner quite often...I guess to get to know me better to see if I met the high standards they had for Jim. Since they had raised Jim during his teenage years, I'm sure they were like any parents would be - concerned that he was making a good choice at such a young age. We both were kind of young. Jim has always said that they approved from day one. But I'm not that sure. I think it was my mother that they really liked, and just hoped they she had taught me well. Or maybe it was their concern that I would not like or know how to prepare Mexican food because that is what we always seemed to eat when I came. The answer to their concerns was "no" and "no". I really didn't like those "hot" enchiladas and those chile rellenos and I really, really didn't have a clue how to make them. I wasn't so sure that I wanted to learn. But Jean taught me anyway, and I was willing to learn, especially since Jim loved Mexican food. He was raised on it.

It was during these months of working and waiting that my skin allergies went out of control. That wasn't good!!! Not now!!! One of my co-workers suggested that I go to this "great" chiropractor that she knew because "he knew how to cure any medical problem and she was sure he could help me". I had never been to a chiropractor in my life. My parents always felt that they were medical frauds so I was more than skeptical about their being able to help me. But I was desperate, so I made an appointment. The appointment was for one afternoon on my way home from work. I will never forget the feeling that I had when I walked into that "office" which was in an old home in an old section of town. It was a very dark, foreboding feeling. The windows were covered and the room was dark. I didn't see anyone in the room, but that "still small voice" said, "Get out of here, now!" And believe me I did! Although I never knew what danger I might have been exposed to, I believe this experience was another of those special times when I was "protected from evil designing men and women" as my patriarchal blessing stated that I would be. I don't mean this in anyway to be a reflection on chiropractors. I have since learned that most are good and qualified in what they do. I have since been to several that have really helped me, and do not hesitate to go again.

Nineteen fifty three came to an end and a new year was ushered in. Nineteen fifty four was to be the greatest year of my life so far. Jim would be coming home, I would be getting married, and my "living happily ever after" would begin. How young, how in love and how naive was I. But don't we all need those dreams and fantasies to help us take risks and make those giant steps into our future, and even do so with excited anticipation? For me it is a resounding "Yes!!"

The Longest Year of My Life

Nineteen fifty three was the longest year of my life. I was home from school, and that was a nice break from the stress of studying, writing papers, and especially TESTS! And I enjoyed spending more time with Mom. I knew her days were numbered by the fact that I had been called home twice during the school year as Mom had been rushed to the hospital and was not expected to live. But both times she recovered enough to go back home. But her condition continued to decline, and she was now restricted to a wheelchair. The doctor indicated that it was only her will to live to see my brother raised that was keeping her alive. By his medical knowledge and diagnosis he told the family that she had already lived ten years beyond what he would have predicted.

As soon as I returned home from school I began looking for a job. I really didn't have any job skills, and fast food restaurants hadn't caught on yet so those weren't even an option. Fortunately I was hired by the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) as a file clerk. I COULD alphabetize so that worked for me. The DMV was located in the basement of the Capitol Building at the top of State Street in Salt Lake City, so I was able to ride to and from work with my dad. I made new friends in that department, two of which were special to me. One was an older woman who kind of adopted me as a daughter (I still have some edgings that she tatted for me), and the other was Joanne Starr who was like a sister. In fact, she was one of my bridesmaids at my wedding.

Because of my experience at school of having to hand write all of my papers I decided to take a typing class in the evening at a business school. We didn't have a typewriter at that time, but Dad would occasionally bring one home from work. I never became great at typing, but it helped later on in my life when I did some typing for Jim's work and for my kids (mostly Jon) when they had papers due. And especially now I can use the keyboard of my computer. I never regretted the time and money I spent learning to type.

Most of my evenings this year were spent preparing a trousseau. It was tradition for prospective brides to have most of their linens and basic essentials for married life already purchased or made before the wedding. I spent hours embroidering pillow cases, sheets (yes, sheets), and even dishtowels. The pillow cases and sheets were not only embroidered but had crocheted edgings and the dishtowels were decorated with themed pictures and days of the week. Before I got married the next spring, my cedar chest was full. It wasn't too long after we were married, however, that Jim let me know that the embellished sheets and pillow cases were very uncomfortable to sleep on, so all my "beautiful" hand work stayed stored in the linen closet until I gave it away. He did let me dry dishes with the towels, however.

My dad did printing work for a jewelry store which allowed him a discount on any merchandise he purchased there. He had only used that privilege several times when he bought my mother a pin and we girls a rhinestone necklace for Christmas one year. When I discovered that this store carried silverware I imposed on dad to use his discount for me. I selected a full set (service for twelve) of silver plate with an orchid design on the handles. I loved orchids...the big, purple, delicate ones...the same ones on my silverware. An added bonus was that it came in a silver TABLE, not just a chest. But the best part of this purchase was that the jeweler let me have it at half price and allowed me to make payments. As I remember, the total price was $50.00. I was also very fortunate in acquiring dishes for my trousseau because on one of his R and R trips to Japan while he was overseas, Jim sent me a whole set of china...service for twelve. During that year he also sent me beautiful cut-work linens from the Philippines.

Although I tried to keep busy, this was the longest year of my life. I could appreciate what waiting for a missionary must be like. I wrote letters to Jim nearly every day and received one from him nearly every day. I lived for those letters and have kept many of them to this day. I still pull them out on occasion and read them, and I still get the same loving feelings as I had then. But even more special is the fact that those feelings I have for my sweetheart are more deep now after spending nearly fifty-four years with him than they were then. And that is how it should be. As the time drew closer to his return, the excitement of seeing him and the preparations for a wedding escalated, but the time seemed to drag even slower.