Jeanie, Debbie, and Kathi were now in high school - Jeanie a senior, Debbie a junior, and Kathi a freshman, having graduated from middle school as valedictorian. Although I'm trying to make this blog my life story, this might be a good place to write about several experiences the girls had which affected me as well. In some cases it was my doing that caused them.
When Jeanie started high school jeans were becoming the common and popular popular style for girls. Yes, that was denim blue jeans which had been worn by boys for years. The new girl styles had no zipper. Although girls had been wearing pants and pedal pushers for a while around the house or when working, I had even been resisting those. I wanted my girls to dress like girls. That meant skirts and dresses. You have to remember that being eighty four years old as I am writing this, puts me in a whole different generation, even in the 70's, when my older girls were in high school. I finally yielded and let the girls wear dress pants or pant suits to school. It wasn't long before I yielded to jeans ... only they had to be colored ones, not blue jeans. (They were making white, red, pink jeans for girls at this time. They would still wear skirts off and on. But now if you chose to wear skirts they had to be the mini ones if you wanted to be like your peers. Mini skirts were above the knee ... quite a bit above the knee. They were a no no in my home. You can understand that I was not a very popular mother! How did the girls deal with a strict mom? Each of them dealt in a different way ... kind of showing their individuality. Jeanie, the intellectual one, didn't really care about fashion or conforming to style. Her peer group of friends were other intellectuals known by fellow students as "nerds". They were happy in their world of math and science. Clothes were definitely not on their priority list. Debbie said, "I'm just going to be so nice and friendly to everyone that they won't care what I'm wearing. Kathi just rolled up her skirts when she got to school.
I was so proud of Jeanie when as a junior (I think) refused to read a book assigned by her English teacher. She started reading but realized the subject and language of that book was very offensive to her values. The teacher's response to that declaration was, "You read it or you will fail this class." You have to understand that grades were very important to Jeanie. She was working towards a scholarship after graduation. So far she had a 4.0 GPA. Before we were even aware of this problem, Jeanie had gone to her counselor to seek redress. Working with the teacher and the counselor, it was decided that she could not be failed for not reading, but she still would have to take the test on that book and her score would count toward her grade. She agreed to this decision saying, "I'll just do so well in every other test I take in that class that when the averaged in with that one low grade it won't matter. And she did! Reluctantly the teacher had to give her and A in that class. The great result of this incident was that the school from then on required all English classes to offer an alternative book to the one that had been required for years. The book she refused to read? "Catcher on the Rye". And Jeanie did achieve her goal of graduating as valedictorian.
Of a course with high school come first "boy friends. Sixteen was the age that we let the girls begin dating. Jeanie did not date that much. Her "boy friends" were friends who enjoyed intellectual pursuits, most of whom were boys. Boys were the ones usually into math and science. Most social events were usually not even their radar ... especially the boys. Jeanie was, and still is, a beautiful blonde. So looks was never a problem. She did have one real boyfriend in high friend who was not from her usual group of friends. I think it helped her realize there were actually left-brained people in this world who were also very cool. Debbie and Kathi (also really cute girls) had totally different personalities. Debbie was very outgoing, friendly, and involved in school and community activities. Being on the gymnastics team, working in student government, and as a volunteer for a national presidential campaign were just a few of her involvements. And she was never lacking for dates. She never did have a serious boyfriend, however. We were thankful for that. One of the great traumatic events in her life involved a boy from Woodland Hills. I don't remember how they met, but this was a very special date that she was so excited about. She had been invited to "Grad Night" at Disneyland. The week before she had started to cough a lot and wasn't feeling very well although she would never admit it. We took her to the doctor the day before the trip. He diagnosed her with "walking pneumonia" and no way should she be staying out all night in those crowds at Disneyland. We had to tell her she couldn't go. As you can imagine, she was devastated. She spent that night in her room crying. Dad finally gave her a tranquilizer to calm her down and and to help her "feel better". Her response was, "I don't want to feel better". I don't think she has ever gotten over that. On another date she came home "late" telling us that her date had forgotten his watch so they lost track of time. Before she left on the next date with the same person, Jim took off his watch and handed it to her date. I'm sure Debbie was mortified as her date responded, "I have my own watch tonight, Brother Mortensen". Another time Jim asked a young man where they were going and at what time they would be home. When he answered they were going to the beach, Jim answered that the returning time was too late for the beach - that there was nothing acceptable to do at the beach after dark. It is a wonder that any of our girls ever got married.
Kathi was still a freshman at this time but the boys were already lining up waiting for her to turn sixteen. She was a pretty girl, smart (she had a photographic memory), not focused that much on grades, very athletic and loved to be part of her peer group, even if it meant skipping school now and then. She signed my name on student information cards (I never saw those cards) so it would match any excuse notes she wrote herself for absences. I think it was about a year before I "caught on". I was a little anxious about her becoming dating age, but I knew it would be inevitable. It would be a continuing custom for quite a while to always set an extra place at the dinner table. Somehow that would always be the time that the boys showed up to see one of the girls. I wonder why? I have to mention one more thing about dating that the girls hated. Their dad had secret security status at his work which enabled him to do background checks. When one of the girls started dating someone new, he would look up the name of his parents and check it out (probably illegal). He would then tell our daughter a lot about his family before they even went out. They would always ask, "How do you know?" It was quite a while before they actually found out what he was doing.
Oh the "joys" of parents during those high school years!!!!
Saturday, November 10, 2018
"Let's Go Out to Dinner" - The Four P's
Now to get back to where I was before I was prompted to write the last two posts. Our family had grown to nine with the birth of Lea. She was about 2 years old, Jon had just started school, the twins were just starting junior high school, and the three older girls were all in high school. Needless to say I was keeping pretty busy doing what all full-time moms do ... chaffering, cooking, doing laundry, (lots of that), cleaning, packing lots of lunches, helping with homework, planning weekly family home evenings - a top priority (Jim wasn't much help), attending the kid's programs at school, going to parent-teacher conferences, working in the PTA, helping with science projects, canning fruit and vegetables, etc. etc. Of course there were all the usual teenage "drama" with three girls in high school. Things were a little crazier than normal because of the wide age span between all the children. Each age has its' own problems and challenges.
Jim was still serving in the bishopric, working hard to support his growing family. He never wanted me to have to work, and neither did I. I was willing to sacrifice luxuries and to be frugal with necessities so I could stay home and raise the family. I felt that that was what God wanted me to do.
So it was of considerable concern when Jim came home after work one night and announced to the family that he had been laid off from his job. The whole economy was struggling at that time and there were a lot of layoffs going on in the job market. I was so proud of Jim when he gave us the news with a smile on his face. He dispelled any doom and gloom among the family members by saying, "Don't worry. I'll find a job. Now let's all go out to dinner". Going out to dinner was a special treat for the kids because we didn't do that very much (maybe McDonalds once in a while). It was expensive to take our large family to a regular restaurant. So out we went!
Finding a job was a lot more difficult than Jim expected even though he would really work at it. He would get up every morning at the same time he was used to to go to work. He would get dressed as ingoing to work (white shirt and tie ...he was an engineer), read the want ads in the paper circling any possibilities no matter how remote, look on line for any other possibilities, ask anyone he knew in the engineering field to let him know if there were openings they might be aware of and network as much as he could. Weeks turned into months and it wasn't long before his separation pay was used up ... even though the bishop had asked him to use the money we had to pay the bills and to take church welfare aid for food. We were very hesitant to do that. We had always been self-sustaining. But the bishop said he wanted his ward to see that even ward leaders may need help at times, and that was ok.
It was necessary to eliminate any "luxuries" from our life like trips or vacations, Debbie's dance lessons, movies, dinners out, etc.
After about six months, Jim took a job in Azusa - not an ideal job nor in an ideal location. It was a two-hour drive from Thousand Oaks - no freeways. But it once again brought in an income. Our severance pay had run out. Jim suffered through those four hours in the car every day while still looking for a better job. It was real torture for him for the next four months. Then his persistence and prayer paid off when he was able to get a job at Litton in Woodland Hills just twenty minutes away. God does give us trials AND blessings, The lessons learned during this trial were: positive attitude (dinner out), patience, persistence, prayers answered - the four "P's.
Jim was still serving in the bishopric, working hard to support his growing family. He never wanted me to have to work, and neither did I. I was willing to sacrifice luxuries and to be frugal with necessities so I could stay home and raise the family. I felt that that was what God wanted me to do.
So it was of considerable concern when Jim came home after work one night and announced to the family that he had been laid off from his job. The whole economy was struggling at that time and there were a lot of layoffs going on in the job market. I was so proud of Jim when he gave us the news with a smile on his face. He dispelled any doom and gloom among the family members by saying, "Don't worry. I'll find a job. Now let's all go out to dinner". Going out to dinner was a special treat for the kids because we didn't do that very much (maybe McDonalds once in a while). It was expensive to take our large family to a regular restaurant. So out we went!
Finding a job was a lot more difficult than Jim expected even though he would really work at it. He would get up every morning at the same time he was used to to go to work. He would get dressed as ingoing to work (white shirt and tie ...he was an engineer), read the want ads in the paper circling any possibilities no matter how remote, look on line for any other possibilities, ask anyone he knew in the engineering field to let him know if there were openings they might be aware of and network as much as he could. Weeks turned into months and it wasn't long before his separation pay was used up ... even though the bishop had asked him to use the money we had to pay the bills and to take church welfare aid for food. We were very hesitant to do that. We had always been self-sustaining. But the bishop said he wanted his ward to see that even ward leaders may need help at times, and that was ok.
It was necessary to eliminate any "luxuries" from our life like trips or vacations, Debbie's dance lessons, movies, dinners out, etc.
After about six months, Jim took a job in Azusa - not an ideal job nor in an ideal location. It was a two-hour drive from Thousand Oaks - no freeways. But it once again brought in an income. Our severance pay had run out. Jim suffered through those four hours in the car every day while still looking for a better job. It was real torture for him for the next four months. Then his persistence and prayer paid off when he was able to get a job at Litton in Woodland Hills just twenty minutes away. God does give us trials AND blessings, The lessons learned during this trial were: positive attitude (dinner out), patience, persistence, prayers answered - the four "P's.
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