Time to Count Your Blessings

During this Thanksgiving week my thoughts have frequently turned to the many blessings I have received throughout my life...not just the big obvious ones that we often dwell upon but the small daily gifts that we way too often overlook. Then today our lesson in Relief Society from Elder Henry B. Eyring's conference address, "O Remember, Remember" reinforced what I have been thinking. Every night before he retired he made it a habit to ask himself this question: "Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?" Then as he thought about his day and pondered that question he began to see evidence of what God had done for him or one of his family that he had not recognized in the busy moments of his day. And he would write those things down for his children to read sometime in the future. I would encourage you to read that talk if you haven't already done so or read it again if you have. I think if we took the time each day to do what Elder Eyring did, each one of us would realize how the hand of God touches our lives on a daily basis.

As I have reflected on the many many things I have to be grateful for, the ones which came to my mind first were those that were very obvious and for which I express gratitude on a continuing basis. But as I have given time and thought to the more subtle blessings I came to realize that many people had touched my life in small but powerful ways, and I came to understand how God has used His children as instruments in His hand to bless and enrich my life on a daily basis.

So here are some of the things for which I am so grateful today.

• My Heavenly parents and my Father's great plan of salvation
• My life. The blessing I have of coming to this earth to receive a body.
• My parents who gave me life and loved and taught me.
• My eternal companion whom I love so dearly
• My special, special family (that includes all of my extended family)
• The Restoration of the gospel and the prophet, Joseph Smith, who suffered so much to establish Christ's church once again on earth
• A prophet to guide us through these troubled times
  
• The beautiful "paid-for" home that we have at this time in our life. This has been a true miracle to me being that we were so late in life being able to purchase a home.
• The beauty that surrounds us here in Tehachapi

These are the big obvious things. Now the smaller ones that have come to my mind.

• My sister, Georgia, who was my friend and confidant for many years before her death. Although Jim complained about the high telephone bill because of my long talks with her, I would tell him that it was cheaper than having to pay a psychiatrist. He soon quit complaining.
• The first person that said, "Hi! My name is Frances Bennett. Welcome to Tehachapi".
• An orthopedic surgeon who did micro surgery on my back even though he knew my insurance would not pay for the "micro" part of the operation. And he didn't charge me the difference.
• A Sunday School teacher who motivated me to read the New Testatment with a whole new depth of understanding and feeling of gratitude for our Savior and the great leaders of His church following His death who were so dedicated and committed to the gospel to suffer and die to spread His word throughout the known world. How I learned to love and appreciate these great men!
• A home teacher who dropped by to give us a pumpkin pie the day before Thanksgiving and his wife who baked it.
• A mission call to Uganda for a grandson who made the choice to go on a mission rather than to go back to Africa on his own to work for the people he learned to love.
  
• The animals and birds who frequent my back yard. I love watching them out the window
  
• Having grandchildren run up to me and yell, "Grandma, Grandma!" when they see me
• The close friendship and love I feel for and from my Jim. I love having him at home all the time.
• Technology that helps me stay in such close touch with the family (even though I have a love-hate relationship with computers)
• A sister in our ward who has many debilitating health problems but when asked, "How are you today?" always answers, "Blessed". She has become one of my pool buddies.
• The Christmas season and the joy, peace, and happiness it brings
  
• Puppies and kittens

I could go on and on the more I think about it. My goal this season is to write some over due thank-you notes to some of the people who may not realize that they have been instruments in God's hands to bless my life in small but important ways. May you also take time this season to count your blessings and give gratitude to those through whom they come.

Dating Can Be Fun?????

College was more difficult than I expected, especially since I was (am) such a perfectionist. Anything less than an "A" on any paper or especially on an exam was very traumatic for me. It didn't take too much effort in high school to get A's, but now it was a different story. I don't remember my grades that year, but I'm sure it they weren't a 4.0. And trudging to class at 7:30 in the morning in snow up to your knees wasn't a piece of cake either. I remember a few times just putting a long coat over my warm pajamas to head for that class.

I tried to go home as often as I could on the weekends. I needed to see Mom as often as I could because she had sacrificed my help in order for me to get more education, and I appreciated that. I felt better about being gone when my sister, Claire, and her family moved into a house about a block away from Mom and my Grandma Knapp (Mom's mom) moved in with her. They became readily available to help out on Mom's increasingly frequent "bad" days. No matter how bad she was feeling, she would always make the necessary effort to go to church every week, and even taught Relief Society one day a month from her wheel chair. In her weekly letters to me at school she would often bounce ideas off me regarding an upcoming lesson. Once in a while she would ask me to draw an illustration for her to use. I remember once drawing a large picture of Lehi's dream of the Tree of Life and the "iron rod". I didn't have anything to look at so had to draw it strictly from my interpretation of the scripture as a reference. That was a real challenge for me because I was never good at getting a picture from my mind transferred to paper. But Mom was happy with the results, and that was all that really mattered to me.

On one of those weekend visits home I had an experience that still makes me laugh. From the time I was a child I had always been told that I should never take anything out of the refrigerator to eat unless I asked. This was a rule I obeyed (most of the time) even as an adult. But this day I opened the fridge to look for something to drink. There, right in front of me, was an opened bottle of 7-up. "That looks good", I thought. "I'll just take sip and nobody will know the difference." So I did. My reaction to that sip was to spray it all over the interior of that open refrigerator. It wasn't 7-up...it was beer! I was in shock. What was beer doing in a 7-up bottle in OUR refrigerator. Mother had to confess that the doctor had prescribed a little beer each day to stimulate her enlarged heart and to help increase her appetite. She was too embarrassed to keep a beer can where it could be seen, so she transferred the beer to a pop
bottle so no one would know what she was drinking. Serves me right for breaking the rules!

Did I do as Jim asked and accept dates at school that year? Yes, for a while. I wasn't asked out a lot, but one stand-out date was with Dwight Stucki. Yes, I remember his name for several reasons. First, he was the student head honcho (I don't remember his rank) of the Air Force ROTC for which I was a sponsor. It made me feel special to think that this "important" guy, a senior to boot, would ask a lowly freshman out on a date. Actually there was more than one.
The second reason I remember his name is that it didn't take me long to find out that he was a total jerk! He began trying to take me alone to his apartment (I refused) and trying to become too familiar on dates. I dropped him FAST. Another man I dated whose name I also remember was Jerry Moss. I had good reasons for remembering him as well. He was a returned missionary who served in South Africa. I was initially interested in him because of his last name "Moss". It was a James E. Moss that who was the initiator and head of seminary at Granite High School. He was a much loved and respected man, and if Jerry was a relative, he just had to be a great guy, too. Well, he WAS a grandson, but definitely not like his grandfather as I found out after dating him a while. I became a little suspicious of his intent when he tried to convince me that it was OK to participate in more intimate activities on dates because "they weren't forbidden according to the temple ordinances". Even though I had no idea about what information was in a temple endowment, I knew this wasn't right. My own conscience confirmed that. Then his mother made me this gorgeous formal skirt for Christmas. Since when do mothers make fancy gifts for a son's "casual" date? The next thing that gave me more concern was when the large diamond that he had purchased in Africa and had set in ring which he wore suddenly disappeared. He had told me that he bought the diamond for an engagement ring when he met the right one. That did it. I was dating for "fun" and I knew he was getting serious. I planned to tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore on our next date which had already been set. I was in Salt Lake that weekend and we had a date to go somewhere up there. I don't remember where. But on the way home, driving through Parley's Canyon, I gave him the news. I never anticipated the reaction he would have. He began driving like a maniac on that curvy icy canyon road. It was in January. Needless to say I was very scared but kept my composure enough to reach over and pull the keys out of the ignition. I opened the car door, jumped out, threw the keys on the seat and told him I was walking home. He calmed down and promised that if I got back in the car that he would drive me home in a sane way. I wanted to believe him because it was 12:00 o'clock at night, freezing cold, and we were at least five miles away from my home. He kept his word and I got home safely. I watched him from our front window and was concerned to see him standing in the middle of the street instead of driving home. I was concerned about his frame of mind because he was acting so irrationally, so I woke my parents. I had told them about my feelings towards Jerry, and they knew I was breaking it off that night. My dad was wonderful. He got dressed, went outside and talked to him for quite a while. I have no idea what he said, but Jerry got in his car and drove off. I didn't see him at all after that...not even at school. I believed once again that God had protected me from "evil designing men" as my patriarchal blessing had stated. I don't believe that Jerry was evil, but his thoughts and actions were not the best.

All these months I had been writing at least two or three letters a week to Jim. I loved his letters which came just as often. They were always so up and supportive and loving in a friendly way. Those letters helped me keep a positive perspective towards men when I had those negative experiences. It gave me a greater understanding and appreciation of what a special person he really was. I was seriously contemplating what my next step should be.

BYU Here I Come

Tearfully I said good-bye to Jim and began packing to go off to college. Several friends from school and I rented a little old run-down house (all we could afford) about a mile from campus. None of us had a car so we needed a place within walking distance. A few days before school started we took in a "cutie", Carolyn Joyner, from South Carolina who was desperately looking for a place to live. She was really the "life" in that old house, and we learned to love her a lot. We would take her home to Salt Lake with us on the weekends that we went.

There was no pre-registering on phone back in 1952, and no computers. We had to stand in long lines to sign up for each individual class, and, of course, by the time you got to the front of the line the class would be filled and you'd have to start all over trying to get into an alternate class. By the time you finished registering your schedule didn't even resemble the original "perfect" one you had planned. Those early 7:00 AM classes that you definitely did not want were all too prevalent, and the time between classes was ridiculous not to mention the distance from one class to another. Back then classes were still held on "lower campus" which was the old original BYU building on University Avenue which I think has now been preserved and turned into a library. Upper campus was composed of the Maeser Administration Building, the Brimhall Building (library), the Joseph Smith Building, and the brand new Science Building...the one with the Foucault pendulum. There were a few miscellaneous small buildings that housed classrooms and some dorms (I think Helaman Halls). That was it!

School was divided into quarters rather than semesters, so you were able to take more classes during the regular school year. Some of the classes I remember taking that year were Spanish, English, bacteriology, geology, sociology, interior decorating, American history, and Book of Mormon. I think my favorite was geology. I still remember a great deal of what I learned and find I still notice and am able to identify many geological features in the environment. I loved the field trips we took around the Salt Lake valley where so many geological events occurred.
My favorite professor was Marden Clark, my English teacher. Actually he is the only one I remember by name. That should say something. I really don't like the writing part of English, and that is probably all we did the first quarter. And literature isn't my favorite, either, and that was mainly the second quarter's curriculum. I had to write my very first research paper that year in English, and my second for sociology. Talk about being thrown into the fire! I had never had to do a research paper in high school as you do now, so I was oblivious as to how much work it was, especially because of what was expected on a college level. Writing that paper for English was the hardest thing I had to do that year, but it was what gave me the greatest feeling of accomplishment as well. The subject I chose to write on was, "The Effects of Literature on the Civil War". I still have that hand written paper...yes, hand written. There were no computers then, and I didn't own a typewriter nor did I have access to one. Not that it would have done me any good, anyway, because I couldn't type. But can you imagine writing a long paper with footnotes by hand trying to anticipate how much room you were going to need at the bottom of each page for footnotes? It was CRAZY! But I did it, and I even got an "A". The sociology paper wasn't quite as bad because it came later on in the quarter, and now I had had a little experience. The subject I chose for that one was "Man's Pugnacious Nature as a Cause of War". I think I still have that paper as well.

At the beginning of the school year I applied to join the Sponsor Corp, a women's service auxiliary to the Air Force ROTC there on campus. It required filling out an application form, going through several interviews, and then finally meeting with a board of high ranking officers in the ROTC for a final selection. There were only a few spaces available for freshman applicants so the competition was pretty tough. I was lucky enough to make the cut and was issued my formal uniform. As I said, this was a service organization, and as such we ushered at school events, helped with activities sponsored by our male counterparts, help plan service projects on campus, and interacted with other Air Force ROTC units at the University of Utah. We even had social activities with them, one of which they matched up the Sponsors at BYU with the cadets at the University of Utah for a dance...you might say a "blind date" affair. That was interesting! The only thing I remember about my date was that he was barely as tall as I was...maybe even a little shorter. I was a little uncomfortable with that, but I had fun anyway.

It wasn't long into the year that we met several young men who lived in the house next to ours. They let us know that they weren't eating too well, so we arranged to feed them the evening meal for a price, of course. They were willing to pay thinking that they would get a good home made meal each night. What they didn't know was that none of us were the greatest cooks, even if we had the time to actually cook. I remember eating and preparing meals that weren't so great. I think our guests soon realized that, too, and made other arrangements. I think they did meet one of their secondary goals, however....that of getting to know several of my roommates well enough to ask for dates...which they did.

Did I have a career interest when I started college? Yes, I had a goal major that I knew was not available at BYU, which was Occupational Therapy. Through counseling I was informed where I would have to go to complete that major, the closest of which was the University of Colorado. I knew my chances of making it that far were pretty slim, but I decided that I could at least finish my basic requirements at BYU. And I was on my way.