Dating Can Be Fun?????

College was more difficult than I expected, especially since I was (am) such a perfectionist. Anything less than an "A" on any paper or especially on an exam was very traumatic for me. It didn't take too much effort in high school to get A's, but now it was a different story. I don't remember my grades that year, but I'm sure it they weren't a 4.0. And trudging to class at 7:30 in the morning in snow up to your knees wasn't a piece of cake either. I remember a few times just putting a long coat over my warm pajamas to head for that class.

I tried to go home as often as I could on the weekends. I needed to see Mom as often as I could because she had sacrificed my help in order for me to get more education, and I appreciated that. I felt better about being gone when my sister, Claire, and her family moved into a house about a block away from Mom and my Grandma Knapp (Mom's mom) moved in with her. They became readily available to help out on Mom's increasingly frequent "bad" days. No matter how bad she was feeling, she would always make the necessary effort to go to church every week, and even taught Relief Society one day a month from her wheel chair. In her weekly letters to me at school she would often bounce ideas off me regarding an upcoming lesson. Once in a while she would ask me to draw an illustration for her to use. I remember once drawing a large picture of Lehi's dream of the Tree of Life and the "iron rod". I didn't have anything to look at so had to draw it strictly from my interpretation of the scripture as a reference. That was a real challenge for me because I was never good at getting a picture from my mind transferred to paper. But Mom was happy with the results, and that was all that really mattered to me.

On one of those weekend visits home I had an experience that still makes me laugh. From the time I was a child I had always been told that I should never take anything out of the refrigerator to eat unless I asked. This was a rule I obeyed (most of the time) even as an adult. But this day I opened the fridge to look for something to drink. There, right in front of me, was an opened bottle of 7-up. "That looks good", I thought. "I'll just take sip and nobody will know the difference." So I did. My reaction to that sip was to spray it all over the interior of that open refrigerator. It wasn't 7-up...it was beer! I was in shock. What was beer doing in a 7-up bottle in OUR refrigerator. Mother had to confess that the doctor had prescribed a little beer each day to stimulate her enlarged heart and to help increase her appetite. She was too embarrassed to keep a beer can where it could be seen, so she transferred the beer to a pop
bottle so no one would know what she was drinking. Serves me right for breaking the rules!

Did I do as Jim asked and accept dates at school that year? Yes, for a while. I wasn't asked out a lot, but one stand-out date was with Dwight Stucki. Yes, I remember his name for several reasons. First, he was the student head honcho (I don't remember his rank) of the Air Force ROTC for which I was a sponsor. It made me feel special to think that this "important" guy, a senior to boot, would ask a lowly freshman out on a date. Actually there was more than one.
The second reason I remember his name is that it didn't take me long to find out that he was a total jerk! He began trying to take me alone to his apartment (I refused) and trying to become too familiar on dates. I dropped him FAST. Another man I dated whose name I also remember was Jerry Moss. I had good reasons for remembering him as well. He was a returned missionary who served in South Africa. I was initially interested in him because of his last name "Moss". It was a James E. Moss that who was the initiator and head of seminary at Granite High School. He was a much loved and respected man, and if Jerry was a relative, he just had to be a great guy, too. Well, he WAS a grandson, but definitely not like his grandfather as I found out after dating him a while. I became a little suspicious of his intent when he tried to convince me that it was OK to participate in more intimate activities on dates because "they weren't forbidden according to the temple ordinances". Even though I had no idea about what information was in a temple endowment, I knew this wasn't right. My own conscience confirmed that. Then his mother made me this gorgeous formal skirt for Christmas. Since when do mothers make fancy gifts for a son's "casual" date? The next thing that gave me more concern was when the large diamond that he had purchased in Africa and had set in ring which he wore suddenly disappeared. He had told me that he bought the diamond for an engagement ring when he met the right one. That did it. I was dating for "fun" and I knew he was getting serious. I planned to tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore on our next date which had already been set. I was in Salt Lake that weekend and we had a date to go somewhere up there. I don't remember where. But on the way home, driving through Parley's Canyon, I gave him the news. I never anticipated the reaction he would have. He began driving like a maniac on that curvy icy canyon road. It was in January. Needless to say I was very scared but kept my composure enough to reach over and pull the keys out of the ignition. I opened the car door, jumped out, threw the keys on the seat and told him I was walking home. He calmed down and promised that if I got back in the car that he would drive me home in a sane way. I wanted to believe him because it was 12:00 o'clock at night, freezing cold, and we were at least five miles away from my home. He kept his word and I got home safely. I watched him from our front window and was concerned to see him standing in the middle of the street instead of driving home. I was concerned about his frame of mind because he was acting so irrationally, so I woke my parents. I had told them about my feelings towards Jerry, and they knew I was breaking it off that night. My dad was wonderful. He got dressed, went outside and talked to him for quite a while. I have no idea what he said, but Jerry got in his car and drove off. I didn't see him at all after that...not even at school. I believed once again that God had protected me from "evil designing men" as my patriarchal blessing had stated. I don't believe that Jerry was evil, but his thoughts and actions were not the best.

All these months I had been writing at least two or three letters a week to Jim. I loved his letters which came just as often. They were always so up and supportive and loving in a friendly way. Those letters helped me keep a positive perspective towards men when I had those negative experiences. It gave me a greater understanding and appreciation of what a special person he really was. I was seriously contemplating what my next step should be.