Challenging Times

The two years we spent in Huntington Beach had some difficult times for me. I think the hardest part was having Jim gone so often on business/training trips. Some were in the states (Florida and Hawaii were two that I remember) but others were in the far east. I remember Florida and Hawaii because I really wanted to go with him. But there were always money concerns and where could I find anyone that would take on six kids for a week. I didn't even have the nerve to ask anyone. There were times like this that I missed having a mom.

The longest trip he took was to the far east with stops in Hawaii, the Philippines, Thailand and Vietnam where there were military bases. Hughes Aircraft Company made the aircraft-launched missiles and electronic counter measure equipment that were then being used in the Vietnamese War that was in progress at that time. Jim supervised about 50 men working for Hughes Aircraft Company who were stationed at various military bases to support that equipment. He went to all those bases to see that proper and adequate support was taking place. He came back with stories of being shot at and trying to sleep with mortars exploding all around him in Vietnam. Being on a "noncombatant" status didn't make any difference to the Vietcong. He was an American. He spent time in Thailand where he was able to attend a small branch one Sunday. When he walked in, he was immediately asked to speak. I think they were glad to have someone new to listen to that Sunday even without any preparation. That alone was a rewarding experience.

This trip lasted a LONG six weeks. The children and I really missed him and looked forward to his frequent letters. I know he was missing us, too, because if you know Jim, he doesn't write letters ... that is unless he has a REALLY good reason.

One other experience while living in Huntington Beach had a traumatic effect on me. Momories of that event still come back to haunt me at times. I guess it is because it was one of the few negative experiences I have ever had in a relationship with a church leader. In this case it happened to be our bishop. Any of you who know me know that I am an introver by nature, so it is very difficult for me to talk to those who are not really close, especially about any problem I may be dealing with. In this case I was struggling with whether or not to accept a calling that had been extended to me. I rarely had turned down any calling, but in this case I had some real concerns. I had been working in Primary since we arrived, and now I had been asked to be in the presidency. What bothered me was that I had six children, including a one-year-old, Jim was gone so much of the time, and I already seemed overwhelmed and stressed much of the time with all my current responsibilities. I just didn't feel like I could take on any more, and yet I felt guilty in not accepting the calling which came at a time when Jim was not there to counsel with me. I did talk to the counselor over Primary and he sugtgested that I talk to the Bishop. So I followed his which was a very difficult thing for me to do. In fact this was the first time I had ever gone to a bishop with a personal problem. I explained to him my situation and the struggle I was having knowing the right thing to do. Then came the answer from him that shook me so badly that I couldn't even respond, and that has had an effect on me to this day. His only response was, "I don't know what you want me to do about it. I can't play God!" It was SO not what I expected to hear from a bishop. I have never since talked to a bishop about any problem in my life, and I probably never will due to that experience. I need to add, that I know that we are all human and we all have bad days ... even leaders in the church. Unfortunately, we are all that God has to work with. It was a few years later that I saw on television that this bishop, who was an educator, had been arrested for child molestation. I now understand what a burden of guilt he must have been carrying during those years he was a bishop. No wonder he lacked the spirit that a bishop so desperately needs in carrying such a difficult load. By the way, I accepted the calling, and it was a rewarding experience.