An apology

So sorry it has been so long since you've heard from me on this blog...especially since I left you "hanging". I could take the time to give you all of my excuses, but I'm sure that would be very boring. On second thought, this might be a good time to at least explain part of the problem. It would come up later, anyway a little later in my life story.

Some of you who know me may be aware that I "suffer" from clinical depression. I have had periods of depression for most of my life, but wasn't diagnosed until later in my life when those dark episodes came more often and lasted longer. I mentioned it once to my doctor when I heard about Prozac which was touted as THE drug to combat depression. It didn't work for me, so I figured I must just be moody or a little crazy, not depressed. After all, I didn't have any real reason to be depressed. I had a wonderful loving husband, a great family and no major problems...just the normal everyday stresses that are a part of every one's daily life. And the only medication that I was aware of for the treatment of depression didn't work. So I went on with my life.

It wasn't until Jeanie who at the time was a married adult with children began to have some major stress in her life and was diagnosed with clinical depression. She had been wise enough to seek help, and it was through her that I learned that there are many medications to help people like me. People with "clinical" depression lack certain chemicals in the brain that produce the feeling of well being. The chemical or chemicals that are missing can vary in different diagnosed sufferers. There is no test to determine which chemical is the culprit. So it is only by trial and error with all the different medications out there until it is determined which one will work for you. I sought out the help of a psychiatrist and it took trying three different drugs before she came up with one that worked for me. What a difference that and counseling made in my life!!!

Now, why am I telling you all this? And what has this to do with the drought of my creative writing? In counseling I was told to avoid as much stress in my life as possible. My counselor told me that stress is the real enemy of people with clinical depression...even if they are on meds. Too much of it can trigger an episode. Well, over the period of two weeks I had at five very stressful events occur, which caused me to have a minor "melt down". I could have handled one or two events and been OK. But five put me over the edge, and before I could fully recover, I have been through the stress of Jim's surgery. When I'm in one of these "downers" my brain has no desire to think or remember. Consequently, no writing. I'm OK now...not all the way there yet, but at least here I am at the computer. That is a good sign.

I know in the last blog I kind of left you hanging. I promise that I will get you off that rope this week, hopefully tomorrow. But for now I want to give you all some advice. Never feel guilty for getting help with mental problems. For so long there has been such a stigma bout seeing a psychiatrist that few sought their help. And if they did they kept hush, hush about it because they were afraid people would think they were crazy. The best analogy I have heard is that if you were diabetic you would have no trouble getting to a doctor to get insulin. It is the same for people who lack other chemicals in other organs of the body. Many people who suffer from depression are able to get off medication after a while. Others will have to take it all their life. I am one of these. But I have promised myself that I would never hesitate to reveal my problem, and I would be an advocate for those with mental health issues. So far I think I hve done that.