Appreciating my Father

As we celebrated Father's Day this week my thoughts drifted back in gratitude to my own father, what he taught me by word and example, and the many ways he showed his love to his family. It is a shame that too often we don't realize the impact a parent has had in our lives until we are adults and maybe even not until that parent is dead and it is too late to express our gratitude. In both those situations I have to plead guilty. As a child I mostly feared my dad because he was a strict disciplinarian. I was obedient because I feared the consequences if I didn't. I had seen those consequences with my oldest sister because her strong personality often challenged and once in a while even rebelled against the rules and directions given by my father.
But as I look back I am truly grateful for the lessons he taught us and for the often overlooked good acts of love and kindness.

What I Learned From My Dad

• How to work and to find dignity and value in any kind of work
• To always do your very best in anything you undertake to do (That included school work)
  
• To appreciate what you have no matter how humble your circumstances
• There is never an excuse not to be neat and clean. Even if you don't have much, what you do have should be clean and cared for. (My dad was raised by a Dutch mother)
  
• To respect parents (especially Mother) and all adults
• To love the Lord and keep His commandments
<><>To accept and be committed to whatever calling you receive from the Lord

• Good priesthood holders should accept and carry out the responsibility to support their families even if it meant working more than one job which my Dad often did. I remember him working nights at a drive-in theatre.
• Keeping your body healthy and strong is important
• The needs of your spouse should always come first
• Love can be expressed in many ways other than words

Dad was not a hugger or a cuddler, and I don't ever remember him saying "I love you" to anyone except my mother. But I know now that it didn't mean he didn't love us children. He showed his love by the things he did for us such as:

• Taking us to work with him (one at a time) on a Saturday when he had to work. I loved to watch him hand feed those presses. I worried just a little that he would get his hand caught and marveled that he never did.
• Taking us to eat across the street from the print shop at a little diner when we went to work with him. This was a real treat because we rarely got to eat out.
  
• Sunday afternoon drives which always included a stop at Laurel Larsen's ice cream store for a five cent cone.
• Packing our lunches for school and fixing our breakfast every morning.
• Playing with us the best he knew how which was usually tickling. I hated it because he didn't know when to stop. I guess because I couldn't help but laugh he thought I was having fun when actually I was miserable. I can't stand being tickled to this day...not even for a second.
• Taking us sleigh riding in the winter and to the Black Rock Beach in the summer.
• Washing our hair over the bathtub even when we were teenagers. His big hands were gentle but strong enough to make feel sooo good.
• In the evening when the family was just relaxing we could bring him a brush, sit at his feet, and he would brush our hair. Loved it!
• Giving us the security of a loving home. Because he loved Mother so much and showed it in so many ways, I felt our family was secure.
• Taking time to me teach me how to shoot with a bow and arrow. He even made me my own bow. (He was an archer who also made his own bows and arrows.) I became good enough that I was the champion intramural archer my first year in college.
• Buying me a white, yellow, and black plaid pleated skirt and a white sweater for Christmas when I was in junior high school. This was so special to me because Dad considered me a "tomboy" and a typical teen who didn't take care of my clothes. Not only were the clothes white, they had to be dry cleaned. I loved that outfit!
• Quietly giving me a treasured heirloom, his mother's wedding ring, because he said I was the one who showed him the most love and respect. I was honored.
• Being humble enough to ask me if I would cut his toe nails when he was elderly and living alone. I knew how strong and independent he had been his whole life and how difficult it must have been to ask for help with such a small task. It almost brought me to tears. I was the one who felt humble to be able to pay back in such a trivial way all the things he had done for me throughout his life. Thanks, Dad for all you did. I love you.
  
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