A New Year's Eve to Remember

It was New Year's Eve!  The weeks of preparing for the joint adult and Young Men, Young Women dance had culminated in a space theme celebration.  Since both Jim and I worked in the youth program, we had a major part in the planning and decorating for this event.  We had had a rocket and satellite building contest a few weeks before which provided decorations which we hung from the ceiling.  In today's vernacular, we would say they were "awesome".  We covered the walls with scenes of sky and clouds to provide a feeling of outer space.  We had worked very hard, not only on the decorations, but to prepare special refreshments for the evening.  We really hadn't had time to recover from the stress of Christmas before we had to jump right into the dance, so we were pretty tired when Christmas Eve arrived.

The dance was a success.  Jim actually danced more than one dance.  Those of you know my sweetheart know that he hates to dance.  That's just one (but not a very important one) of his flaws.  I love to dance.  He used to say that I could have one dance a year, and that was it.  I don't think I have averaged even that over our 55 years of marriage.  I KNOW I haven't.  Anyway... as you all know, the responsibility of cleaning up after an event usually falls on the same people who have done all the work setting up.  Such was the case this night.  All ;of a sudden, as I began to help, I began feeling really ill.  I thought all the hours I had spent in preparation for this night had finally caught up with me. I just couldn't do any more.  I curled up on a couple of chairs at the side of the hall and waited for the others to finish.

I still felt sick the next morning when I woke up ... and the next ... and the next.  Only now I REALLY felt sick.  I couldn't keep anything down, not even water.  I finally made an appointment with the doctor to get some help.  Well, you guessed it, I was pregnant.  (So much for the predictions of my last doctor who said I would likely not be able to have any more children.)  I had never been this sick with my other three pregnancies. The only thing that would stay down was black tea, which my doctor (the only OB-Gyn. in town) insisted that I drink to keep from dehydrating, and an occasional dry cracker.  That was my diet for the first three months.  I tried other foods, and I'm sure I did get some nutrition from the few that stayed down, but not much.  I lost a lot of weight those first months.  I remember how hard it was to take care of the girls when I was so sick ... and so tired.   How I wished I lived closer to family at this time.

The whole family was excited about having a new addition to the family, but none of us was prepared for what happened next. 

The Move Into Town

Klamath Falls was not too big years ago, so there wasn't a big choice of rental homes.  We were anxious to get settled before school started in the fall.  We had enjoyed our little home  in Wocus and had made new friends.  But it was just to far out of town.  I felt a little isolated out there without a car to go anywhere.  And we did need to be closer to a school.  We finally found a small home which just happened to be across the street from the elementary school.  It had three bedrooms, but the layout was a little strange.  Two bedrooms were to the front of the house and the third was in the back, kind of isolated from the others.  We decided to put all three girls in one bedroom and use the third as a playroom.  That worked well.  The house had a big back yard with a plum tree which was another plus. (I'm not so sure that plum tree was a plus once it started bearing fruit.  The fruit seemed non ending.)   I began making Jeanie clothes for school.  It was nothing but dresses because girls were not allowed to wear pants to school.  I still remember the three dresses I made ... a red two-piece skirt and top, a blue print dress with white trim, and a green paisley print with a white collar and a big bow at the neck.  Yes, she got by with three dresses for the whole year which meant she had to wear the same dress twice during the week.  And would you believe she never complained even once?  I don't think any kid in the school even noticed.  Clothes just weren't that important back then, at least to kindergartners. We started Jeanie and Debbie in a dance class and both seemed to enjoy it.  It was fun to watch them both perform in their first recital.  They did "good"!  But Jeanie's interest soon waned, but for Debbie it was the beginning of her love of dance which would continue for the rest of her life. Both Jim and I received callings in the Church, Jim as Explorer leader the the young men's program, and I as a counselor in the Young Women's.  It was my first and only time in my life working in that program.  It seemed from that time on it was Primary and Relief Society for me. It was at this time that I experienced a miscarriage.  I was in the early stages of pregnancy so it wasn't as devastating as it could have been.  But what WAS devastating to me was that the doctor said I would have trouble carrying any more babies because of a physical problem that had developed.  When he saw how upset I was about the prospects of not having more children, he agreed to do a procedure that he thought MIGHT help. I remember Jim being furious about the way the doctor had so insensitively the doctor had told me the "bad news" that he marched into his office and confronted him with, (I'm paraphrasing) "How dare you say that it is unlikely that my wife will probably have no more children.  You're not God!  It's not in your hands."  Those of you who know Jim can just see him saying something like that.  I was a little embarrassed because I knew the doctor was just stating a medical fact as he saw it.  Even though he could have been a little less "factual" and a little more sensitive, he was just doing his job as a doctor.  There was no way he could have known how important family was to us. The best part of moving into town was that I was now able to walk to a real grocery store when I needed something, and I could even walk into "downtown", if I wanted to walk about a mile dragging along three little girls.  I only tried that a couple of times and only when I was desperate for something that couldn't wait until the weekend, usually some sewing item that I needed.  Back then all stores closed at five or six o'clock, so no shopping in the evening when Dad was home. We had now been Klamath Falls for a whole year as January, 1961, rolled around.  This would be a "red flag" year for us, one that would bring about major changes for the whole family.

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Elephants In The Back Yard

One of the first things we did after moving to Wocus was get a dog.  The children had wanted a pet for some time, but living in apartments made it impossible.  We rescued a small shepherd mix from the local pound, and he became an instant friend to the children...me, too.  I  have always loved animals, any animal, but especially dogs.  From this time on it seems we always had pets of some kind.  Each child had his/her favorite.

Some  of my favorite memories of that little house in Wocus:

• Heating for the house that was in the baseboards of the rooms.  After scorching several long curtains I realized it had to be short curtains ONLY.
• Having missionaries to dinner for the first time.  I really stressed over that for some time.  I wanted everything to be so perfect...all done at the same time, all hot when it got to the table and served on time.  I soon found out that missionaries don't really care about any of those things.
• Catching my dress on fire by sitting on the hearth of the fireplace.  I loved to sit there on cold winter days because it was so warm.
• Seeing Jeanie who was going on five have the courage to walk to the little store near our house by herself to get something for me.  (It was safe back then, and I would watch from the corner while she went and came back.
• Matching Easter dresses for the girls and me on which I spent hours appliqueing  and embroidering roses all down the front.  (I must have been a little crazy or I must have had too much time on my hand.  I can't imagine that with three little girls to take care of.  But again I guess that was possible since I was pretty much stranded way out there with no car to get anyplace.
• Elephants in our back yard.  Yes, that's right...real elephants.  A highway ran in front of our little street and one evening a circus truck tipped over right in front of our street.  It was carrying elephants who had to me rescued from the truck.  The handlers drove the frightened animals to the open field behind our house until a rescue truck could be sent.  They put chains around their ankles (if elephants have ankles) and connected the chains to long metal stakes which they drove into the ground.  The handlers tried really hard to control the traumatized elephants but they would rock back and forth, pulling on the stakes until they would pull them right out of the ground.  The kids were just enthralled by seeing those huge animals up so close.  We realized, however, that it was not too safe being so close considering the way they were acting.  So it was in the house to watch out the window.  I'll bet every one of the girls remember the "elephants in the back yard."
  

We didn't stay in that house too long.  We soon realized that it was just too far out of town.  Jeanie would be starting kindergarten in the fall which meant she would have to ride the bus.  I wasn't even sure they had a bus that went out there, and I had no other way to get her there.  And since I had no car, I wanted to be closer to stores that I could walk to.  So we began house hunting again on the weekends.   

Welcome to Oregon

It was dark, cold, and snowy when we pulled into the small town of Klamath Falls, Oregon.  I had been sick the week before we had to leave California and was now sporting a huge cold sore which covered my whole upper lip clear up to my nostrils.  I was pretty miserable.  To top it off Kathi, now just a year and a half old,  got really sick on the way.  She was running a fever and throwing up every few minutes...at least it seemed that often.  So it was a great relief when we saw the lights of the city come into view.  We checked in at the first motel we could find, tired and ready to crash.  But Kathi's temperature continued to climb and she looked SO bad.  I began to panic because we didn't know who we could contact this late at night.  Our only option was to try and find a hospital with an emergency room.

The doctor on call took one look at her, touched her forehead then admitted her to the hospital.  They immediately connected her to an I.V.(she was dehydrated), and tied her hands to the side of the crib so she wouldn't pull it out.  It just killed me to see her cry and struggle to get free.  She just kept looking at me with those "help me Mom" eyes and all I could do was rub her little forehead and talk to her.  It was one of the most stressful times of my life.  

I stayed at the hospital all night while Jim stayed with the children at the motel.  Kathi was released after two days in the hospital, but the doctor looked at me and said, "You should do something about sore on your mouth.  It looks infected."  He recommended a doctor who took one look at me, soaked a gauze pad some sort of antiseptic, and just wiped the whole scab off my lip.  I now had this huge open sore that kept bleeding and bleeding. It did eventually heal, Kathi recovered, and we began looking for a place to put down roots.

We settled into a small house in a community called Wocus on the north end of town.  It was a cinder block house (one of about a dozen) with a large rock fireplace.  Down the center of the little dead end street was an island of grass where the kids could play.  The one undesirable thing was that our little street came off a major highway.  Fortunately, the kids were very good about staying away from that busy road.

It wasn't long before the children made friends and through them we made friends with the parents.  And, of course, we had instant friends at church.  Although we had kind of had a rough beginning in Klamath Falls our stay would soon become one full of happy and memorable experiences.

Off To California

It's been quite a few blogs ago that I left the story of my life and went on to things that were happening in the present.  When I left you last, Jim had just graduated from the University of Utah with a degree in electrical engineering.  He accepted a job with Hughes Aircraft Company in Los Angeles, California as a field engineer.  I wasn't too sure what a "field engineer" did at first, but I would soon find out.

We began preparing for the move.  For me preparing was mostly mental and emotional.  Salt Lake had been my home since I was born, and this was where my father, sister, brother, Grandma Knapp, and Jim's family all resided.  I would especially miss my grandmother who had been like a mother to me since Mom passed away.  The only consolation was that my sister, Georgia, had moved with her husband to Riverside, California.  She would now be only several driving hours away.  I had always been very close to her.  And I did have an aunt and uncle, Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Bruford, who lived very close to where we would be.

It was early summer when we packed our three little girls into our red Buick and headed for California. The company paid for our move, including all the packing, so we just had to get ourselves to our new apartment in Inglewood, close to Jim's work sight.  Our apartment was in a large U-shaped complex and our unit was on the second floor.  It was a nice apartment with lots of children so Jeanie made immediate friends.  The could play on the grass in the center of the "U".  It was safe fifty years ago.  Jeanie also loved the fact that we  lived within walking distance of the Inglewood horse racing track.  We could walk there and watch the 8th race for free.  (I assume there were eight races on race days).  Jeanie loved horses from the time she was that little until now, and she loved to watch them race.

Two things that I remember most about living in Inglewood was, one, we were able to purchase an automatic washing machine (no dryer) but an honest to goodness automatic washing machine, and two, we were able to afford nice gifts for the children that Christmas.  It was that Christmas that I made the reindeer stockings for the three girls. As you might expect they were a project from Relief Society.  Those stockings became a tradition for all the rest of our children who were to come.  One even made it to Spain one Christmas where Jon was serving on a mission.  That first Christmas in California seemed so strange to me.  To be truthful I didn't like it all.  The sun was shining and there was no snow!  There HAS to snow for Christmas.  It's just not Christmas without snow. 

The second hardest thing for me in California, next to sunny Christmases, was getting used to the freeways.  They scared me to death.  Utah had no freeways and I just couldn't get used to going up the on ramps and merging into traffic that was going 65 miles per hour.  Jim kept telling me that I had to increase my speed as I approached the freeway so that I would be going as fast as the traffic as I tried to merge in.  That was so scary!   But we had to get on the freeway to visit Aunt Dorothy which we did quite often.  She invited us to dinner almost every Sunday, and Uncle Bruford loved to take pictures of the girls while we were there.  Photography was his hobby.

For six months, Jim was trained in weapons systems for military aircraft which were manufactured by Hughes.  His responsibility would now be to train pilots and other military personal on how to use these systems.  But those military people would not be coming to Hughes for the training.  Jim would have to go out in the "field"  viz. to air bases on the west coast.  Now I understood what a "field engineer" was.  He, that is we, would have to do some traveling.  I really didn't mind because I hadn't been to many different places in my life.  His first assignment was to Kingsley Air Force Base in Klamath Falls, Oregon.  We would be leaving in January, right after Christmas.  I was kind of excited, but still a little scared.  For the first time I would be living with no family anywhere close.  I realized how dependent I had become on my family.  I knew it was time for me to "grow up" and be independent.

God is Still in Charge

The Christmas season is over. The welcoming lights on the neighbor's homes and throughout the community have gone out leaving a sense of darkness and even a little gloom. The house once dressed in it's holiday refinery now looks bare and empty. All the decorations are packed up and in put away in the attic....that is, except for the last few things I missed like the mistletoe ball that hung over the hall doorway and the balls that I found behind the chair that had fallen off the tree.

Well, there is also the table decoration that I found at an after holiday sale for 75% off and the cute Christmas tree molds that I found at the grocery store for $.25 that are the perfect size to make tree-shaped Rice Krispie treats next year. I just couldn't pass up those bargains. So there will be one more trip up to the attic.

There is always something a little sad when this season ends. Although I have to admit that I miss some of the "fluff" and even the "trappings" of Christmas...the lights and decorations, the shopping and crafting to have gifts for those I love, and the carols of Christmas being played everywhere you go. But what I miss the most is who I become at this special time of year. I become more thoughtful, more patient, more kind and considerate, more sensitive to the needs of others, less caught up in myself, more outgoing and comfortable with initiating a conversation with a stranger in a long checkout line, more excited about seeing family, more time spent trying to become closer to my Savior and trying to truly understand and appreciate His great sacrifice in my behalf, and more time trying to become like Him. Although this is who I should be and who I want to be all the time, it is so easy to slide back to old routines and old habits... to succumb to my "carnal" state with all its' temptations, inhibitions, and weaknesses. No wonder I feel a little depressed after Christmas.

I was so impressed this year by the many acts of thoughtfulness and service by so many of the family. You have really set the example as to what Christmas is all about. Many of you instead of giving gifts to those of us who are already blessed with SO much, have given to those of God's children who are really in need. And I know there are those of you who have done the same thing quietly in your own way. We as a family are so blessed in that none that I am aware of is without work or struggling just to survive in this time of economic stress. This coming year is going to be a challenge for all of us in one way or another. But with the love and support of family and the love and support of our Heavenly Father we all will be OK.

I Love You, Mom

Today has been a day of reflection and sweet memories.  My thoughts have been of my mother who would have been  100 years old today had she lived.  But her life ended fifty-five years ago, just five months after I was married.  And that was ten years longer than the doctor had predicted because of her badly damaged heart.  It was her strong faith, her love of family, and her desire to see her four children safely raised and taught correct principles that kept her alive, or so her doctor said.  She trusted that job to no one else.  And although it always bothered her that she was physically unable to care for many of our physical needs, she was an incredible teacher and lived what she taught.  She was always my exemplar and role model.

Mom loved the Lord and His gospel.  Her testimony never wavered throughout her years of illness.  She was willing to accept His will regarding her life, but always prayed that she could live long enough to finish her role as a mother.  Mom lived to see two of her daughters married to worthy men in the temple and the third engaged to marry a returned missionary.  She knew and approved of all our chosen companions.  But she died when my little brother (her only son) was just fourteen years old.  It was very difficult for him, but she had taught and prepared him well.  He married in the temple to a wonderful girl (Mom would have loved her), was a stake president for nine years, served a mission with his wife in England, and today is a Patriarch. Mom would have been so proud of him.

Thanks, Mom, for all you taught me and for all you sacrificed for me.  I know now how hard  your life must have been...how much more you would have liked to do for your family.  But you did everything that really matters in this life.  You taught me love of my Savior and love of His restored church.  You taught me to pray in faith and to expect answers.  You taught me integrity, service, how to work, and how to sacrifice.  You taught me who I am and what I could become.  You taught me patience and long suffering.  And you taught me how to be a loving wife and mother.  I like to think that somehow you had an influence there in Heaven in sending down the very best of Heavenly Father's waiting spirit children to our home, because we certainly got the best. You would just love them all. 

I can just imagine you now, young, beautiful, healthy, and enjoying the work you were unable to do on earth.  You always wanted to do missionary work with your dad, and I bet you are a dynamic duo in Paradise.  And I know you are happy to be reunited with Dad, with your mom and all your siblings.  And how special that you have one of your daughters with you as well.  (I miss you, too, Georgia.)    

I love you, Mom.  You were the best!  I only hope that you are proud of me...that I have lived up to your expectations.  Happy 100th birthday.