And Then There Were More ... Frogs, That Is.

The scenario of frogs at our new location continued on when the girls discovered that rocks next to their sandbox was home to a bunch of adult frogs. It didn't take them long to figure out that by spraying the rocks with a stream of water from the hose the frogs would hop out of their safe seclusion right into the hands of happy waiting playmates. The frogs soon had names and elaborate tunnels and "buildings" built in the sandbox for their "enjoyment". The kids spent hours playing with their frog friends in that sandbox. When the play was over for the day the frogs were gently returned to their home in the rocks. While I'm on the subject of frogs, I'll fast forward to the next spring when we realized what a real plague they would become. We woke up one morning to discover thousands ... yes, I truly mean thousands, of tiny little frogs covering the street as far as you could see, and just as many hopping all over the grass in the front yard. This went on for about a week. You couldn't drive down the street without running over hundreds of frogs, and when you tried to mow your grass, you had automatic fresh red fertilizer for your lawn. It was HORRIBLE! After that first year frogs just became a part of living in Novato and was no big deal ... especially since they became the kids' favorite playmates.

The children also enjoyed opening up big cardboard boxes and using them to slide down the hill behind our house. We had easy access to that hill because we had a gate in the backyard fence. The boxes slid easily over the weeds on the hill especially in the fall when they would dry up and become even more slippery. All the kids in the neighborhood would join in the fun.

Another playmate was added to the family when we bought a Collie puppy for the children. I have always loved Collies, I guess a carryover from my childhood when Lassie was a favorite movie star. For those too young to know about Lassie, she was a Collie dog who was the hero that always saved the day. When we saw a sign in the neighbor's yard, "Collie Puppies For Sale", we just had to go take a look. It happened that the dogs were all pedigreed with papers so that made them very expensive. We just couldn't put that much money into a dog, But when the owners saw how disappointed the children were they told us that one of the pups had "droopy" ears instead of the straight "perky" ones that tipped over at the top. They told us that even though this defect could possibly be corrected by taping round rods in the ear to hold them up as the ear grew, it made this puppy less valuable than the others. They said we could have the dog for "$50.00, a bargain we quickly accepted.

In order to register a dog with with the AKC it had to have three names. Since we had the pedigree papers for our puppy we decided to go ahead and register him, even though we knew he would never be used as a show dog or for breeding. He was just to be the family pet. We names him Prince Cooper of Lynwood ... "Prince" because that was the name we planned to call

him, "Cooper" because that was the last name of an astronaut who that year was the first to circle the earth in a spaceship ..., and "Lynwood" because that was the name of the tract that we lived in.

Once through that puppy stage, Prince became a beloved member of our family for about thirteen years. He loved and protected the children, and was their constant companion and playmate. They could sit on him, tease him while he was sleeping, take toys away from him and he never even growled his displeasure. When the twins were old enough to play outside he would walk along side of them and not let them into the street. He was big enough to just push them away from the road. Once he even chased a motorcycle that had frequently been racing down our residential street, scaring the children (he was not a car chaser) and tried to bite the rider. The rider kicked at him and swerved his cycle so that it would hit him. His hip was injured which resulted in his having arthritis there as he aged. He was so lonely when the kids were gone for more than a day that once when we returned home we found that he had opened an unlocked sliding glass door, gone to Jeanie's room, removed a stuffed cat that was made of real rabbit fur, and took it outside with him. When we returned home we found it between his front paws with his head resting on it. He was one special dog, even if he once he opened that same sliding glass door and ate an entire gingerbread house that we had just purchased for Christmas. He didn't even get sick! That's what we get for leaving that door unlocked once we knew he could open it with his paw.

There were more special lessons we learned during that four years we lived in Novato. We made some of the most long-lasting friends there and experienced one of the first of several real miracles in our life. More to come.

Frogs, Frogs, and More Frogs!!

As we walked closer to our motel room door with its' overhead light, we could see what had been moving in the dark. It wasn't just a thing. It was many "things" ... many, many, many things. I felt like I had just walked out into one of the Moses' plagues in Egypt. There were frogs everywhere ... hopping up and down the sidewalks, in the grass, and in the parking lot. The kids were ecstatic. "We need a bucket, we need a bucket", were the simultaneous cries. Fortunately we could not find a bucket or anything else that could hold a frog, but promised the kids we would see what we could find in the morning. By morning, most of the frogs were gone, but enough remained that we were able to capture a few for the girls to "observe". We were soon to find out that frogs would play a big part in our children's lives.

Our first concern after arriving in Novato was finding a place to live. After searching a few days were able to find a house which we could purchase without a down payment using our G.I. bill ... a benefit program that was available to veterans of the Korean War. The house was in a quiet little isolated subdivision containing only a few streets entry to which was by way of only one of the streets. The best part of this choice was that the grade school was right at the entrance to the area ... a short and safe walking distance from our home. The house was an Eichler designed building, recognizable by its large ceiling to floor windows. These windows comprised two walls of our living room. The kitchen was small but had a DISHWASHER, my first ever dishwasher. I really didn't care that there wasn't much cupboard space because it had a DISHWASHER! There was a small dining area off the kitchen, and there were three bedrooms and two bathrooms (another first). The best part was that there was a bathroom right off what would be the girl's room which had a door that lead to the back yard where the girls would spend a lot of time. The back yard had been divided into several planter boxes with rock pathways between them. One of these boxes we turned into a sandbox. In the corner of a the yard was a rock "wall" which I think at one time must have been a small fountain and water fall. A sliding glass door between the dining area and the living room lead to the side yard where there was a nice patio and grass area. On the other side of the house was the sidewalk

that led to the front door, and a small slope covered with ice plant. All you could see from the street was the garage because the rest of the house was secluded behind fences on both sides of the garage.

This was the first home that we had lived in that was OURS. And, my first thought was to decorate it the way I wanted. The house came with white drapes that covered those two windowed walls of the living room. We had bought our piece of new furniture in Klamath Falls which was a white Naugahyde (imitation leather) couch. With all that white, I knew I needed some color. All the floors throughout the house were asbestos tile, pretty common back then. There were no carpets. The first thing we purchased was beautiful bluish green tweed, wall to wall carpet for the living room. Then I purchased blue and green pillows for the couch. My creativity then kicked in and I decided to make planters to go on to of the bookcases that were built half way up the wall on both sides of the white brick fireplace. The fireplace and the bookcases comprised the whole far end wall of the room. Dad built the metal planters and I covered them with blue, green and white Mosaic tile. When filled with silk greenery, they really added to the beauty of the room. My next purchase was a large gold sunburst clock which I hung over the fireplace. I just loved the way it all turned out. I felt that this house was now really my "home".

Novato??? What the Heck is Novato?

Things got a bit easier as the twins grew big enough to sit and play in a borrowed playpen. They seemed happy to just sit and play together with their toys unless, of course, they both wanted the same toy at the same time. Jeanie and Debbie were now both in school for part of the day, and Kathi was still taking an afternoon nap which meant that, if I was lucky, the twins would go to sleep at the same time, and I could have an hour or so all to myself. But I'm sure that time was not spent taking a nap myself. There were other things I'd rather be doing than sleeping.

As I look back now at the Easter picture of my five little treasures all sitting together on the couch dressed in matching homemade dresses (and little suit for Jim), I wonder how on earth did I have the time to make all all those clothes. They were not simple dresses, either. Each dress was made of a different colored gingham check with a white pinafore over it. The pinafore was trimmed in matching check and had matching little flowers which were hand sewed on each pinafore. Each little girl had a matching gingham-covered head band except Shelly (as we called her) who had a matching bonnet. I made little Jim a blue gingham romper with a white vest and I purchased him a little boy's hat. I have to admit they looked pretty cute. But I still can't believe I had the time and patience for this project that now looks HUGE to me at age seventy-five. Oh, to be young again! I guess I know now what I did with that one hour or so that I had to myself each day.

It was the spring of 1962, when Jim received a notice of transfer from his company. We were to leave that summer for his new assignment to Hamilton Air Force Base in Novato, California.

I had never heard of Novato before, but was told that it was in the northern part of the state in between San Rafael and Santa Rosa. It was a good time to move because of the summer break from school and after looking on a map, it seemed a favorable place to be going. I had never been to that part of California, and that would be new adventure. We would be close to San Francisco with its' cable cars, China Town, and the Golden Gate Bridge. That was all exciting to me.

The company packed us up, and put all our things in storage until we could find a place to live. We stayed in a motel while looking. But it was that first night's stay in the motel that excited the children SO much, but scared me to death. As we headed toward our room that first night, it was getting pretty dark. Suddenly I saw things moving on the sidewalk ... lots of "things". I stopped dead in my tracks and the girls started squealing. What kind of town were me moving to?

More Challenges With Twins

It didn't take long before I realized I had new problems to solve having two babies. Without any of the new "necessary" baby equipment that is available today (carriers, newborn seats that can be moved around the house, "bouncy" chairs, swings that play music, bath equipment, etc. etc.), I had to be innovative or just plain frustrated. How do I have the babies in the same room where I was working, especially the kitchen, when they were awake. There was no place to lay them. The only way we had to set the babies down was to prop them in the corners of the couch and put a pillow in front of them so they wouldn't fall over.

And what about bath time? Since we had both babies on the same schedule, they both were bathed at the same time. Where would I lay one screaming baby while the other was being bathed and dressed? The only safe place was in the crib in another room which made for an even more unhappy baby. Daddy came to the rescue by building a double decker changing table which we placed in the kitchen where I bathed the babies in the sink. It was ingenious. I could lay one baby on the lower deck while I bathed the other then dressed her/him on the upper deck and visa versa. There was a shelf below the lower deck to hold diapers, clothes and bath accessories. It was GREAT!!.

Next problem: How do I get out of the house to take the children for a walk or to make an emergency trip to the grocery store. It was still summer and Jeanie and Debbie were still at home. We only had one car which Dad took to work. I had only a single stroller so I would have to push with one hand and carry the second baby in the other. But then how could I hang on to the other three children, especially the three-year-old. Imagine this sight: Me, holding a baby and pushing a stroller, a small child hanging on to my skirt, and two others holding hands and walking in front so I could see them. I'm sure I was a sight to behold. After one of these exhaustive trips to the store, and coming home in tears, I KNEW I had to have a double stroller no matter what the cost. Tears worked on Jim when he came home from work that I day and a twin stroller was ordered from the Sears catalogue, the only place that they were available. Even though the stroller was SO welcomed, it presented a few problems of its' own. The double seats were side by side, which made it very wide and hard to maneuver through single doorways of homes or stores. Yes, I wanted the stroller in the house at time just to have a place to set the twins so I could do other things. But the positive far outweighed the negative, so I never complained.

As that first fall and winter approached, and the weather became colder (even freezing), hanging the "massive" amount of laundry outside became a real problem for me. I couldn't drape washed clothes over the furniture to dry like I used to do in Utah. There was just too much. An automatic dryer now became an absolute necessity in my eyes. Money was still tight, but somehow we managed a monthly payment on a new dryer. What a blessing!

One more thing that was so difficult for me was bedtime without the help of Jim three or four nights a week. He would leave right after dinner to teach classes or take care of church responsibilities. Often that would leave me with dirty dishes in the sink, two crying babies, three little girls needing baths, teeth brushed, and story read before going to bed and one tired, frantic mom to deal with it all. Enter the picture my saving angel, Cheryl. Cheryl was a teenage neighbor girl whom we only knew by name. In desperation one bad night I called her on the phone and asked if I could hire her to come over and help me out. She came. She turned out to be one of those rare young adults who could see what needed to be done without being told and she just pitched in. She would pick up and soothe a crying baby, put the girls in the tub, wash a sink full of dirty dishes, play with or read to the girls, or whatever she saw was needed at the time. She was an answer to my urgent prayers. From then on, all I needed to do was call, even on a moment's notice and she was there. I wouldn't have survived those first six months without her. And she would never take a penny for her services. She was not a member of the Church, but she could have been the perfect role model for what we would like all of our young women in the Church to be. We kept in contact with her over the years and were thrilled to hear years later that she had joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We were not surprised.

We survived the first year by:

1. buying a second crib when the twins got too big to sleep in the same crib

2. buying an Osterizer to make our own baby food when we realized how expensive it was

to buy ready-made food for two growing babies.

3. buying a new car, a VW bus, to accommodate our growing family.

4. teaching our three younger daughters to assume more and more responsibility

5. ....and nearly adopting Cheryl to be our personal "Nanny". She was truly my buoy in

stormy weather.

Happy Homecoming. A New Challenge Begins.

Three excited little girls welcomed home their new siblings, Jonita Rochelle, and James Richard Jr., We felt so blessed to be able to bring them both home on the same day. We were well equipped with the basic necessities for two newborns because of the "twin insurance" offered by Sears Roebuck and Co. If you had previously ordered a baby layette through their catalogue they would add a second comparable layette at no charge should you have twins. When the doctor confirmed that I was going to have twins, I quickly ordered the the largest layette in the catalogue. Holding true to their policy, Sears sent me a second one, the same as the first.

Once all of the girls had had their turn holding and gently caressing each baby, the initial excitement was over. Then reality quickly sent in. I had breast fed each of my preceding babies "on demand" and I planned to do the same with the twins. I had been assured by the nurses in the hospital that it was indeed possible to nurse two babies, and they even tried to show me how to feed them both at the same time. What a joke! I knew it would one at a time for me. But about this "on demand" thing became another joke. I soon found out that all I was doing all day was feeding babies. I tried to keep a record of who ate when to help me remember how often each of eating. This was just not working. With Jim's insistence we decided that the babies would be put on an eating schedule ... OUR schedule and that they would both eat at the same time, hungry or not. I think Jim was tired of hearing one or the other of them crying all night. That worked a lot better, even if it meant waking them up to eat. They soon adjusted to the schedule. However, this was the first time I had to depend on Daddy to help with the night feedings. I would feed one for a while, hand it to Jim to burp while I fed the other and then repeat the process. We both looked forward to the time when they would sleep through the night.

The other thing that became a challenge was the LAUNDRY... piles and piles of LAUNDRY!

There was no such thing as disposable diapers back then, and try to imagine doubling the amount of clothes that a baby can go through in a day. Now imagine laundry for three little girls and a husband added to that. And now imagine doing it all without a dryer. Everything had to be hung out on a line to dry. Then there was the folding of all those diapers and tiny baby clothes. My engineer husband invented a whole new way to fold diapers that made it easier for me to rinse out before washing. (Ask me sometime and I will show you how if we ever go back to cloth diapers.) I was grateful that we had at least an automatic washer, and I was even more grateful when Grandma Knapp came to help out for a while. I think I would have had a breakdown without her those first few weeks while I adjusted to my new busy life.

On the rare occasion that we took all of the children out for an afternoon, usually on Saturday when Dad was home to help, it was amazing how many people would stop us to see the twins.

They would see me carrying one and Jim carrying the other (no twin stroller) and would guess they were twin. Although one was always dressed in blue with a blue blanket and the other in pink with a pink blanket, it was even more amazing how many would ask if they were identical. Jim's sarcastic remark would always be, "No, one's a boy and one's a girl." Even then some would look a surprised by that statement and one even asked, "So what difference does that make? They still can be identical." I guess????

So began my life with five children from six years old to newborn, no family nearby, and a husband that was gone three evenings a week teaching, and another night at Mutual where he worked with priests.. I was pretty much on my own.

Out of the Hole!

It's time to get out of the negative and return to my happy life. It's been a tough two months dealing with my depression problems, but I feel I am now out of that deep black hole that only you who have been there can understand. Have I learned from this experience? Of course. Although I know that clinical depression is an illness similar to diabetes in that both are caused by a lack of certain necessary chemicals in the body to make it function properly, I came to realize that I have to have better strategies for handling stress in my life. Life is not without stress, but since too much of it can trigger an onset of major depression in those of us who suffer with with this mental illness, we have to avoid what we can and learn to deal with it in better ways. That is what I am focusing on now, and it has helped. In thinking back over the last six months or so there has been constant stress with no "recovery" time that led to my melt down. There were Jim's two knee surgeries and recovery times, Christmas (always somewhat stressful but manageable, and fun, if by itself), taking care of grandchildren (a little stressful because I realize that I don't have the energy, patience, and joints that I used to have), Mother's Day, (I've already explained that) and the then the "straw" that finally broke the camel's back (an old cliche) ... being called as Young Women's secretary. I had no idea of the responsibilities this calling required nor was I familiar with the "new" Young Women's program. I hadn't worked in that organization since I was in my twenties. AND I had always said that a secretary was one position I hoped I would never have. I just do not like a lot of paper work . Now I was faced with a stack of forms I needed to sort through, new forms to create on the computer and a lot of neglected records to update. I think it was all the computer work that got to me most ... computers and I do not have a very good relationship. All of this stress brought a "MELT DOWN", the like of which I hadn't experienced in years. None of these things by themselves would have caused a problem. It was just that they all followed ... bang, bang ... one after another without any recovery time.

Okay, I said I was going back to the positive, and I can do that now. With the help of my Savior and some conscientious effort on my part I am out of that hole and doing just fine. I'm eating better, trying to get more exercise (the hardest part since I our pool closed), getting more sleep, changing my priorities, and learning new ways to better handle stress. And would you believe I actually love my new calling? Now that I'm better organized, have all the necessary forms on the computer so I just have to fill out and update them (I can do that without Jim's help) the burden I was feeling has been lifted. I've gotten to know all the girls personally, and they are really great! I'm beginning to feel less and less like a fish out of water. I have a lot more self confidence. And I feel the girls have accepted me ... maybe even like me. It feels wonderful.

It would be neglectful of me if I did not say how grateful I am to my wonderful eternal companion who was and is so patient and understanding when I have an episode like this. He is the one that takes a lot of abuse and neglect, but somehow stays calm, patient, supportive and loving. I love you, Jim.

My next blog, back to my life story, "Three Little Girls Welcome Home Their New Siblings".

Sorry for this long "sidetrack".

Digging my hole deeper

I imagine that for most mothers Mother's Day is a favorite holiday. It would mean a day off from regular household duties, gifts, and maybe even breakfast in bed, that is if you have a husband like mine. He has always gone the "extra mile" to ensure my day would be special. That included making (yes, making) carnation corsages and boutonnieres for me and the children ... white for me and him and red for the children. A Mexican tradition designated a white flower if your mother was deceased and red if she were living.

So it would seem that I would love and look forward to Mother's Day. But to the contrary I hate that day. It may seen a little extreme to say "hate", and I guess it is. I guess "dislike" would be more accurate. "Why?", you ask. There are several reasons. First, I am uncomfortable being the center of attention and having others serve me. I'm a "dyed in the wool" Martha. I am much happier doing things for others than the reverse. Second, I don't need a special day to feel loved or appreciated. I have always gotten that from my children and husband all year round and often in spite of my not being the best mother in the world. I have always felt loved. Third, I hate the commercialism of the day. It really bothers me that the world dictates that to show love you have to give gifts. I hate for anyone to feel like they HAVE to give me a gift just because it's Mother's Day, my birthday, anniversary, or whatever, I'd much rather "feel" their love all year, and I do. The best gifts for me are the lives that my children live ... and a card with a sweet remembrance is also special.

But perhaps the strongest reason for my dreading this day is because it brings back discomforting memories that I have tried to put behind me over the past fifty-five years. I thought I had succeeded until this year. But I think because I was not my best self this year, suffering from a bout with depression, those memories crept back, just making me feel worse. What was that memory that has had such an effect on me the past fifty-five years? It dates back to our wedding day, Thursday, May 13. I never dawned on me until a year later that Mother's Day is always the Sunday after our anniversary. That meant that Mother's Day would have been the Sunday after we were married, and I guess I was so preoccupied with being a newlywed that I didn't go see her, send her gift, or even a card. I was oblivious to what day it was. And this was her last Mother's Day on earth. She died in October. I have felt terrible about that even though I know she would have understood why my mind was elsewhere that day. I know that Jim didn't remember his sister-in-law, Jean, either, who had been a mother to him for over six years. This year, that memory came back again with more than the usual amount of pain and that didn't help the depression. I was struggling to keep myself from crawling into that hole that I had been digging for myself. But I was determined not to let that happen. But there were still challenges that I needed to conquer.